Ofsea English Editing

海戴留美博士编辑全面深度修改润色清华大学法学院学士申请美国顶级名校LLM的PS范例
来源于:本站 添加日期:2011-4-1
Personal Statement
 
“Nowadays, foreign invasion has become the one that exploits China’s legal defects!” This alarm bell rang by Professor Ho who has significantly contributed to the legislation of the Chinese business law and the establishment of the listing rules for HK H-shares has inspired me many times that social development is owing to people’s development. Encouraged by her, I have tirelessly brought my passion in business law into full play by focusing on building legal knowledge foundation, defending my ideas and arguments again and again, and also learning accounting and management concepts in order to better understand these professions and accountants’ works and duties and to better monitor the capital market, etc.
 
“You should get skills from practice” With this advice of Professor Ho in heart, I have broadened my mindset and shifted some of my attention from business law theories to their potential applications in the real world. Take, for example, I complemented my academic coursework with practical internships at Junzejun Law Firm and Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP that represent a typical Chinese and foreign law firm with the concentration of IPO, respectively, and that could enable me to compare the differences and similarities between domestic listing and overseas listing.
 
In the former firm, I worked with the corporate team in helping companies navigate through the IPO process, and ensuring that all transactions were compliant with security and business regulations. In less than two months, I was able to independently take charge of projects like the chief lawyer, and obtained many precious opportunities to enjoy the process of helping some traditional Chinese enterprises shake off the old management pattern and ideas by assisting them to transform their organizational structure into what is required by listing rules, and educating their managerial personnel how to operate and manage the company by laws. At Simpson Thatcher & Bartlett LLP, I screened and collected data on the IPO Price-Earning Ratio and industrial distribution of 100 Chinese companies and the resulting profit of every share from the firm’s huge databank. By so doing, I gained a better understanding of the Chinese capital market, corporate law and procedures for overseas listing.
 
On the other hand, it is important to see the other side of the legal system and to better comprehend the Chinese judicial system from the aspects of litigation and adjudgement. Therefore, there came my experience at the People’s Supreme Court. By functioning as a chief judge in administrative tasks and writing case reports, to my surprise, I found there were so many loopholes in China’s legal system. Take, for example, many conflicts couldn’t be referred to any existing law articles. And, many judges lacked the minimum law education or training. What made things even worse was that there were many current governmental policies and commands for the judges to consider. These problems have injected a high degree of subjectivity into the courtroom.
 
Through these different internships, I have also been able to compare and contrast the current state of corporate law in different countries. Over the past twenty years, China’s economy and business market has expanded and evolved at an extremely rapid speed. But the legislature has not been able to keep up. By comparing China’s IPO process with procedures for overseas listing, I found that during an IPO, the Chinese procedure is mainly based on law verification. On the contrary, lawyers play a dominant role in preparing for an overseas corporate listing and especially in providing opinions for the company to avoid or reduce hidden legal risks.
 
As a matter of fact, the legal system in many developed countries are more effective in protecting investors’ interests and require higher regulation and monitoring of all corporate transactions while in China because of the innate defects of the statute law system, cases like Wuliangye Liquor’s false statement are engulfing more and more money of the people. Due to a lack of investor confidence, the problem with the Chinese legal system greatly affects the stability of the Chinese market. Also, from my personal experience at a few other law firms, I found that the problem of the lack of respect and faith in the law is more serious than the problem of the lack of legal infrastructure. As a matter of fact, on many occasions, law seems to have to compromise with the speed and efficiency of the economy. In order to truly improve the Chinese legal system, this is a crucial area of improvement.
 
As part of my work towards my goal of improving the social situation in China, in order to further boost my sense of social responsibility and to better learn about the real world in terms of how urgently it needs improvement, I have participated and led abundant volunteer and charity programs. For example, in 2009, as part of a research and disaster relief team in Tibet, I participated in legal clinic sessions and conducted surveys on the quality of life, and the political and religious perspectives of the local citizens. Also, I collaborated with several schools for migrant workers’ kids to raise funds and the public awareness of underprivileged children. In addition, I have organized several blood drives and donation activities within Tsinghua University in support of various causes.
 
Through these experiences, I have been able to practice and enhance my leadership and communication skills and to see, first hand, the underbelly of the society that is often swept under the rug in an attempt to market economic advancement and idyllic images of progress. The truth is, for those who truly in need, legal aid is limited, is not sought for, and/or is not even trusted. To make matters worse, those exposures have shown me that although lawmakers are responsible for upholding the law, in the current legislative framework, they are often the problem. This got to be changed!
 
Right at this moment, I believe the best way for me to work towards these goals is through further exposure, education and experience. More specifically, I am very much interested in better understanding of the evolution of the American legislative system based on social demands and civil changes. Debatably, the US legislative system has manifested its keeping pace with each civil movement in many respects such as the outcome of Supreme Court cases (e.g. Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka, Roe vs. Wade, etc.) and policies like Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. By being able to adapt and capture the needs and progress of an evolving society, common law is continuously updated and improved, and thereby it is all the time dynamic and organic, never stuck or limited by outdated social paradigms. From this perspective, I believe that China needs to learn not only how to design an appropriate and advancing legislative system, but more importantly how to reinforce respect and faith in law instead of to merely copy American laws in a simple word-by-word way just like the case of securities law. In my opinion, the best legislative system for a nation is the one that can keep pace with civil movement and can also cater the nation’s particular situation. Therefore, during my future graduate training, I will pay special attention to study American legal thinking. Maybe for China, it’s better to let common law and statute law supplement each other and remedy each other’s deficiency.(is this idea novel and correct? If not, delete it!)
 
With no doubt, my future LLM study, work towards an SJD and research in common law will power me with necessary knowledge and skills on how to bring about change using law as a tool, how to advise policy and law makers so as to move China in a direction that is more democratic and protective of human rights, and how to establish and enforce a modern legal system. Furthermore, I intend to make full use of my work and knowledge to inspire and motivate the next generation by serving as a law professor. “A real professor of law is not only capable of providing valuable advices for law making or guiding legislation issues but also ‘feeding’ more specialists to succeed the odyssey.” I will cherish these words of Professor Ho in the innermost of my heart and will also pass them on. As long as there’re people in every generation who are willing to cultivate those who believe in law’s power for social development, then someday China’s ultimate goal will come true. It all matters about the faith!
 
下文为客户原文:
 
In Chinese, the character for human is “人”. During my first class as a law student at Tsinghua University, my Common Law professor, Betty Ho, explained that the character “人” is written so that it stands upright on two legs between heaven and earth. In this way, it is an indomitable spirit, able to hold up the heavens and support the earth; and that as people, we should always try to emulate the spirit of this character, indomitable spirits that stand for ideals, principles and righteousness. From that day on, I have always tried to ensure that I live up to “人”.
Little did I know, that this professor would continue to influence my progress and time at Tsinghua, helping me push myself and reach my goals every step of the way. I was most inspired by how she always encouraged me to infuse my logic with my passion in order to truly champion my beliefs and principles. During class discussions, Professor Ho would continuously challenge our statements, making us defend our ideas and arguments. Knowing that I was interested in business law, she encouraged me to learn more business related knowledge. Therefore, I began to focus on learning accounting and management concepts, finally achieving the ACCA (The Association of Chartered Certified Accountants) level 1.
Taking her advice to heart, I broadened my mindset and shifted from focusing purely on the theory law to the potential application of law in the real world. In order to gain knowledge and skills through experience, I complemented my academic coursework with practical internships. During my internship with Junzejun law firm, I worked with the corporate team in helping companies navigate through the IPO process, and ensuring that all transactions were compliant with security and business regulations. We were able to help clients avoid potential risks. As a legal intern at Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP, I collected data on the IPO Price-Earning Ratio and industrial distribution of 100 Chinese companies and the resulting profit of every share. Through these experiences, I gained a better understanding of the Chinese capital market and corporate law.
To see the other side of the legal system, I participated in an internship with the people’s supreme court. In this role, I assisted with writing case reports and helped various judges with administrative tasks. Through this experience, I found many loopholes in China’s legal system. This problem has injected a high degree of subjectivity into the courtroom.
Through my different internships, I have also been able to compare and contrast the current state of corporate law in different countries. Over the past twenty years, China’s economy and business market has expanded and evolved at an extremely rapid rate. But the legislature has not been able to keep up. By comparing China’s IPO process with procedures for enterprises to be listed abroad, I found that during an IPO, the procedure is mainly based on law verification. On the other hand, lawyers play a dominating role when preparing for a corporate listing abroad. The legal system in many developed countries are more effective in protecting investors’ interests and require higher regulation and monitoring of all corporate transactions. This greatly affects the stability of the Chinese market due to a lack of investor confidence.
As a Chinese citizen and law student, I have observed that the problem is not only the lack of legal infrastructure, but also the lack of respect and faith in the law. In order to truly improve the Chinese legal system, this is a crucial area of improvement.
In working toward my goal of improving the social situation in China, I have participated and led an abundance of volunteer and charity programs in order to develop a strong sense of social responsibility and to learn about the real-world situations that urgently need improvement. In 2009, I went to Tibet as part of a research and disaster relief team. While there, I participated in legal clinic sessions and conducted surveys on the quality of life, and political and religious perspectives of the local citizens. I also collaborated with several migrant worker schools to raise funding and awareness for underprivileged children. In addition, I have organized blood drives and donation programs within Tsinghua University in support of various causes.
Through these experiences, I have been able to practice and enhance my leadership and communication skills and see, first hand, the underbelly of society that is often swept under the rug in an attempt to market economic advancement and idyllic images of progress. To make matters worse, these exposures have shown me that although lawmakers are responsible for upholding the law, in the current legislative framework, the lawmakers are often the problem. It is my goal to change this reality. 
The best way for me to work toward this goal is through further exposure, education and experience. I feel that by pursuing a LLM degree in the US, I will be able to learn the concepts and applications of a highly developed legislative system. XXX’s simultaneous focus on both theory and practice will undoubtedly provide me with the perfect venue to further my understanding of the law and its enforcement. More specifically, I am very interested in better understanding the evolution of the American legislative system based on social demands and civil changes. Debatably, with each civil movement, the US legislative system has moved to keep pace. This progress manifests itself in many places such as the outcome of Supreme Court cases (e.g. Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka, Roe vs. Wade, etc.) and policies such as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. My interest in the US’s common law systems stems from the fact that common law is able to adapt and capture the needs and progress of an evolving society. In this way, common law is continuously updated and improved based on social needs. It is dynamic and organic, never stuck or limited by outdated social paradigms. Since modern China is only 60 years old, I think that the advancement of the law system in China is the best way for it to mature and develop its infrastructure. With time and experience, I am convinced that the Chinese society and government will improve with a stronger legislative system to guide its progress.
Following completion of my LLM, I intend to work towards an SJD and conduct research work in common law. This will not only equip me with the knowledge foundation I need, but also provide me with an in-depth understanding of how to bring about change using law as a tool. My ultimate goal is to return to China, where I can continue my research with China as the focus. I hope to use my research to advise policy and law makers in how to move China in a direction that is more democratic and protective of human rights. Ideally, I aspire to make my mark on the Chinese legislative system by contributing to the establishment and enforcement of a modern legal system. Simultaneously, I intend to use my work and knowledge to inspire and motivate the next generation by serving as a law professor. Like my role model, Betty, I hope that with each generation, China and the world will continue to become a better, safer, and more harmonious place for all. Considering my goals, I feel that XXX is the perfect fit for me based on the curriculum and program emphasis. If given the chance to attend XXX, I will try my best to leverage my leadership skills to inspire and motivate other students in making the world a better place.
 

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